I've Found Someone New...

Dear John Rylands University Library, 

I have a found someone new - his name is Samuel Alexander and he also has a computer cluster. He doesn't let silly rules like 'no eating' get in the way of work.* He's quiet and doesn't disrupt my essay writing. He's respectful and organized, he tells me when he's busy and has classes going on. He lets me work in peace John Rylands. More than you ever did. From now on our relationship is strictly about the books as you insist to be the largest university library on campus.

I hope we can still be friends,

Rosie

*After writing it would appear that Sam Alex does have a no eating rule, but it's in tiny letters, not plastered all over the walls - he's polite like that.

It took me 10 minutes to figure out where it says not to eat - this is literally the only signage in the room that has this rule on it.